By car, after his kind invitation to sit down. An hour chewing gum in a mechanical way, rhythmic, disciplined I guess. Sweaty hands continue to move out of the pockets of his jacket in those pants and vice versa. The watchful eye, even hyperactive arch framing the precise visual moving up, down, left and right.
No, cocaine does not center. I'm going to do my practical driving test. For the record, my second practical examination. But he, the Gandhi Maestho, just sit on the seat next to mine, bursts into laughter bringing back his head to explode even better let those sobs fun.
"Lola, but you phophio phophio phophio nehvosa!" That acute observation, did not do so insightful, I think sarcastically.
"Yes I am a bit 'agitated, I hope to do it." He then
, which has never been a big supporter, began to give me encouragement unusual: "There is phoblèma Lola, there phoblema! Sicuha you, you know gestihe the machine, so there is phoblema. Hicohda basis points ... "Hmmm let me guess maybe means the observation, the contact point and the center of my space, I continue to be sarcastic in my underwear.
" The ossehvazione, numeho one. Contact motohe and tha fhizione, numeho two. And centho of your space, the numeho. Need hispieghi them that you? ".
" No, no, hicohdo ops remember very well. "
Guido to the place of examination, other guys come with me. Somehow we all look alike, all seem to electrical wires ready to make sparks.
First out of the car, the Maestho becomes serious: "Alloha Lola, there phoblema" if he says again that there is no problem I am bringing a nervous breakdown so yes there is the problem!
"Calm and driving without phoblemi" mmmh neurotic crisis coming.
"Oha follow me" Where? Where should I follow? Degl'esaminatori with me in the hideout, a kind of prefab is a small hall, a bathroom and an office on the content obscure. Expect out of that office, waiting for my examiner. I feel the lair of the wolf in the forest, the cave of the monster.
The examiner is late, so at least tell us. What face will be my judge? The answer comes immediately in front of me. A tiny little man of about sixty full full, carry-in head, little hair greasy and shiny, mustache thick hair that seem to mock away. Then a detail, a monstrous detail. The big glasses, two glasses fossil inherited directly from the 60s. They are dirty, covered with dirt on the corners, at the height of the screws. Perhaps remnants of tape, now moldy. I look at that picture of a man in front of me and began to obsessively repeat in my mind: "There is phoblema, there phoblema, there phoblema!"
'm terrified little man, so much so that I would have preferred the Cyclops, the wolf or the witch of Hansel and Gretel! But my Maestho not leave upset. Holding out his hand in a theater by moving smartly toward him. And then begins to introduce myself, if I were the queen of England. Told him that I am a student, who live in Funklandia, which are very resourceful and diligent. Exaggerates in painting, so much to make me look like Maria Teresa of Calcutta at the wheel. Gandhi My Maestho fills the little man of many words, turned it over, if they work professionally. Ends only when the examiner makes him realize that he can not anymore. "Well good alloha fohtuna, follow puhe esaminatohe in the car."
The little man before me, I turn to look at the Maestho, I see it in lip-speak "There phoblema" concluding with a wink.
The examiner takes me around without saying a word. I seriously and dirt from the indicanzioni necessary. Ticino has a strong accent, typical delle valli. Mi porta per strade strette, autostrade, mi fa posteggiare, indietreggiare e poi mi riporta indietro dopo 45 minuti. Mi fermo e aspetto la sentenza di quell'ometto. Lui sbuffa e comincia con un esitante "Ehhhhhh", poi "Ehhhh boooom", e dopo sbuffa ancora.
"Signorina," mi dice "un zicchinin mei nééé!" Avrei dovuto guidare un attimino meglio, temo il peggio. Mi ridà il mio patentino sul quale leggo lentamente: "Promossa".
Il ghande Maestho mi aspetta fuori dalla macchina, mi riempie nuovamente di occhiolini mentre parla con l'esaminatore. Poi mi viene incontro:
"Bhava, bhava! te l'avevo detto che non c'eha phoblema!"
Lola :-)
Here is the last post on the bizarre, hateful, yet incredibly fascinating Maestho.
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